my 1st official handball game

SHL – NTU vs Breakers (23:15)

Today is the second game for NTU, but my first because I was away in BKK when they played the first game. And today’s game was also my first official handball game (so the title says).

The Breakers team has been well-known to be good, strong, fast, full of chemistry, swift, and perhaps every other positive word that you can think of when it comes to a handball game. They are….well, kinda “feared by all” so to say.

How did I feel since my first official game was against them? Hmm, honestly, I wasn’t feeling very anxious. It didn’t bother me how good others said they are; I just wanted to play well and enjoy the game. I mean…it’s true that they were good, but regardless of how good a team is, chances of winning is always 50-50 (well, that’s what I believe). I mean…how lousy can we be if we do put in the effort to train and all, right? If even before the game starts and we think negative, then that’s it. Chances of winning would go down all the way to perhaps 10% if lady luck is on our side. But no, lady luck doesn’t exist. So yeah.. 0%.

So how was the experience of an official handball game? It was TIRING. I didn’t enjoy myself very much… maybe because it felt like the whole game play was kinda too rigid. Or maybe also because I don’t have enough training myself. Many reasons, but that was certainly not the best of the team, I feel.

Any afterthoughts? To be honest, I felt that I didn’t play very well because I was inferior. I felt that I wasn’t good enough technically as compared to the others that were on the team.

So what’s next? Well, I guess in order to play better, I need to remove that thought of inferiority, I suppose. Don’t know if I’m looking forward to the next few games or even training.. The thought of traveling down for training is just !@#$%^&*. JI BA BOM FAR. But I’ll try (:

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bring out the ugly side of me

Sports have the ability to bring out the ugly side of me – without fail. I have been trying to keep my cool, been telling myself that I should not say things that serve no purpose in benefiting others, but time and again, I lose it whenever the opportunity arises for me to practise it. SIGH. I don’t know how to change this part of me. I do it, and later on realise it’s not right, ask for forgiveness, ┬ápromise not to do it again, and the cycle just keeps going~~~ I’m so sick of it that I have ever thought of giving up trying to change, but I guess I shouldn’t because I suppose this cycle is part and parcel of the change in me. It’s my sincerest prayer that this cycle of doing and repenting doesn’t cause me to take the grace of God for granted, but indeed cause me to see how sinful I am and how loving God is, resulting in a change in me. And because of that, I will grow to be more like Jesus.