cos they were saying “upper rooooooom~”
Tonight’s Upper Room (R-AGE’s prayer meeting) was one kind of cool. We came with absolutely no agenda, and God moved like no other Upper Rooms we’ve had before. Perhaps because we came with no agenda, we came without any preconceived notion of what Upper Room should be like, we just came. Perhaps not knowing even what to expect. We just came. Seeking the Lord’s face and heartbeat for the ministry and our nation. We just came.
“‘In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.”
Acts 2:17 NIV
Perhaps tonight we caught a glimpse of what this means. Because we came.
I am into the third month of my internship with the church. Back to back overnight camps has been crazy stretching physically. I can’t deny anymore that age is catching up on me.
Work has been crazy but I am enjoying every bit of it. Tired, but I haven’t caught myself complaining (sometimes I do but it’s not with a negative connotation in it like I used to do) about it. I like the fast-paced style of work, I like the fact that I get to meet and journey with young people on work days, I like it that every week is not the same. Physically I am tired but I feel that I still have energy to keep going on.
Just when I thought that it’s ok to be physically tired (I just need to be spiritually on fire!), God spoke – “slow down and walk with me”. I think God knows that I am so caught up with working that I wouldn’t be able to hear Him even if He spoke to me, so He spoke to me through someone else. He caught my attention by speaking through a tangible being and reminded me with the six words.
Initially I was not sure whether that was for me because I didn’t feel that I am far from God. But just as I closed my eyes and started speaking in tongues, I saw a vision of God and I walking side by side, having fun and enjoying each other’s company. Then as I got excited by the things I saw in front, I ran forward and left God behind. He didn’t run after me, but called me back to Him. “My daughter, don’t go before Me or behind Me, just walk beside Me.”, I heard Him say.
Lord, thank You for Your undying and unconditional love. Thank You for the grace that You’ve showered upon my life. Thank you for calling me back to You even before I unknowingly run far away from You. Lord, keep me close to You.
Sports have the ability to bring out the ugly side of me – without fail. I have been trying to keep my cool, been telling myself that I should not say things that serve no purpose in benefiting others, but time and again, I lose it whenever the opportunity arises for me to practise it. SIGH. I don’t know how to change this part of me. I do it, and later on realise it’s not right, ask for forgiveness, promise not to do it again, and the cycle just keeps going~~~ I’m so sick of it that I have ever thought of giving up trying to change, but I guess I shouldn’t because I suppose this cycle is part and parcel of the change in me. It’s my sincerest prayer that this cycle of doing and repenting doesn’t cause me to take the grace of God for granted, but indeed cause me to see how sinful I am and how loving God is, resulting in a change in me. And because of that, I will grow to be more like Jesus.
Met Noe, Jer and Nard for dinner just now at JCube, and Jer mentioned about World Race. Came home to check out more about it, and I’m excited thinking about it. 11 months in 11 countries. It really sounds quite exciting.. (: Praying for a vision on what is in store for me upon graduation. Pray along with me! (:
Ok, World Race is definitely not for me this coming year because I will miss my convocation if I were to go for it. And I can’t miss convocation because my parents would be utterly disappointed. Convocation is like THE day that they have been looking forward to…perhaps from the day I was born till now. Yeah.. So I can’t disappoint them, and so I know for sure that World Race is out for me in 2014~ Gonna keep this post to update my thoughts on this. (:
Just met an old friend for brunch, and am sitting at Yishun Starbucks right now, chilling, listening to Kiss 92.0 FM and trying to do some FYP stuff~ I love this kinda lifestyle.. To meet old friends, sit somewhere to do what I need to do, yet at the same time be able to chill and relax..
Had a conversation with the old friend about my dream of going on a working holiday alone after I graduate, but which all seem so impossible because of parental objections and so many other things to consider.. then again, people will say “you only live once“. Yes, I only live once but does that mean that I do whatever I want to do and think later? I don’t know~
I feel that I am stuck at a crossroad in life right now. So many things I wanna do, yet I can’t see how they can come to pass. There are three things I wanna do when I graduate before I decide to settle down with a proper job:
- Do a working holiday
- Experience working in church
- Experience the life of being a teacher in a normal Singapore school
God, open my eyes to see what You have in store for me when I graduate. These are just my plans, but I want Your plans for me more than anything else because I know Your plans for me are the best. If what I have planned are according to Your plans, then I pray that You will open doors for me because I really can’t see how these can come to pass with the situation I am in right now.
Finally met some of my friends today as school starts. Had a chance to talk to this friend, LcP, and I found out some things that aren’t exactly very pleasant about him..
When I found out about it, it felt like I was looking at him with judgement. I know I shouldn’t but I realised it’s a very thin line between hating the person and hating what the person did/is doing. Initially I was upset at my friend, the PERSON, but as soon as I realised I was in no position to hate/dislike the PERSON, I quickly tried to shift my focus to the thing that he did. God loves him and everyone else the same as a PERSON, but hates the very things that we do that are unholy/unpleasant in His eyes.
Many times our leaders always tell us “Hate the deed but not the person” I guess today I’ve experienced it and it’s just not that easy to differentiate the two.
God I pray that You will teach me to hate the deed but love the person just as You love them.
Tomorrow marks the start of my final year in NTU. As usual, I don’t know what to expect.. Like every other student, I desire to do well in my studies…but I don’t wanna JUST study when I only have one more year left in this place. I wanna do something more!!! (For God of course~ 🙂 )
I pray that in this one year, God will use me to win souls for His kingdom.
I pray that in this one year, God will teach me to be more patient and loving towards my family members.
I pray that in this one year, God will reveal to me what is in store for me when I graduate.
I pray that in this one year, God will teach me to be more effective in Children’s Ministry.
I pray that in this one year, God will cause a stirring in my heart to desire for more of Him.
I pray that in this one year, I will never ever have enough of God.