I’ve had the privilege to go to many conferences, even the widely known Hillsong Conference, I’ve been there twice. So I wasn’t feeling that positive or excited or whatever you call it, when I knew I was going to APYAC (Asia Pacific Youth-Alive Conference). Didn’t make things any better when the only thing I had in mind was to babysit the younger ones on the trip. But God changed my heart and my perspective, and I heard from God during the conference. I didn’t just hear from Him, He answered the only prayer I made on the first day of the trip – confirmation for my full-time call.
Everything that was shared in the conference resonated within me. Some call it missions, evangelism, discipleship, whatever you call it, I call it “bringing the gospel to the lost”. Bringing the gospel to the lost has always been the one thing that resonated within me since I came back to the Lord when I was 17.
I felt the burden and had the desire to serve God with my life when I was 19, and have always been praying for direction since then. I heard how many other people got their “confirmation” from God regarding their full-time call, and it made things so clear for them to go into full-time. I wanted the same “confirmation” so I prayed and asked God for the signs for me to enter full-time. Strangely, those things never happened. But everytime I prayed for those signs, I only hear God say “Why do you need them when you already know that I’ve called you?”. So after a while, I stopped praying those prayers, but one thing I never stopped asking for was my mum’s approval – and I received it about 5 months ago, which then led me to start pursuing my full-time call, starting as an intern in my own church.
Before APYAC, the one thing that I’ve always asked God is “Lord, what ministry/ which area do You want me to serve You in?” and this is THE one thing that I received from the Lord in APYAC 2015.
During one of the altar calls regarding a father’s blessings, I responded and I asked God for my own earthly father’s blessings for me to enter full-time. Just then, PJ came to lay hands on me and said “Let the Lord alone call you.” PJ, if you are reading this, thank you for being obedient to the Lord.
During another altar call, I felt God impress upon my heart the criticality of mentoring and discipling my sheep in 2016.
And the highlight for me in APYAC 2015 was when we prayed for the nations on the last day. I had the honour and privilege of carrying my nation’s flag because Leb was playing the drums for worship. And I really can’t deny that it was all planned neatly by the grace of God because it wasn’t pre-planned that Leb had to play drums that day, and if he didn’t have to play drums that day, he would be the one carrying the flag instead of me. Initially when I held the flag, I wasn’t feeling anything much until PJ came over behind me and said “Tiff, I’m so proud that you are carrying our nation’s flag.” Immediately, tears started to flow from my eyes. I was overwhelmed, man. Images of the critical groups of unsaved people in Singapore – people in gangs, prostitutes, elderly, and many more – flooded my mind. For the first time, I felt God’s heart for my nation. It was a huge and heavy burden. Then PJ released a word to me – “Stay faithful”. I couldn’t stop crying. It felt as though God, for the first time, turned on the tap of the reservoir that belonged to Singapore, and all the water gushed down from above into my mind then to my heart. And now, it’s the hands and feet that need to do the work that the mind and heart have received.
Lord, give me grace and mercy to do what You have called me to do. Take me and lead me wherever and however You will.