Unleashed – APYAC 2015

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love it when young people do silly things together ^^.

I’ve had the privilege to go to many conferences, even the widely known Hillsong Conference, I’ve been there twice. So I wasn’t feeling that positive or excited or whatever you call it, when I knew I was going to APYAC (Asia Pacific Youth-Alive Conference). Didn’t make things any better when the only thing I had in mind was to babysit the younger ones on the trip. But God changed my heart and my perspective, and I heard from God during the conference. I didn’t just hear from Him, He answered the only prayer I made on the first day of the trip – confirmation for my full-time call.

Everything that was shared in the conference resonated within me. Some call it missions, evangelism, discipleship, whatever you call it, I call it “bringing the gospel to the lost”. Bringing the gospel to the lost has always been the one thing that resonated within me since I came back to the Lord when I was 17.

I felt the burden and had the desire to serve God with my life when I was 19, and have always been praying for direction since then. I heard how many other people got their “confirmation” from God regarding their full-time call, and it made things so clear for them to go into full-time. I wanted the same “confirmation” so I prayed and asked God for the signs for me to enter full-time. Strangely, those things never happened. But everytime I prayed for those signs, I only hear God say “Why do you need them when you already know that I’ve called you?”. So after a while, I stopped praying those prayers, but one thing I never stopped asking for was my mum’s approval – and I received it about 5 months ago, which then led me to start pursuing my full-time call, starting as an intern in my own church.

Before APYAC, the one thing that I’ve always asked God is “Lord, what ministry/ which area do You want me to serve You in?” and this is THE one thing that I received from the Lord in APYAC 2015.

During one of the altar calls regarding a father’s blessings, I responded and I asked God for my own earthly father’s blessings for me to enter full-time. Just then, PJ came to lay hands on me and said “Let the Lord alone call you.” PJ, if you are reading this, thank you for being obedient to the Lord.

During another altar call, I felt God impress upon my heart the criticality of mentoring and discipling my sheep in 2016.

And the highlight for me in APYAC 2015 was when we prayed for the nations on the last day. I had the honour and privilege of carrying my nation’s flag because Leb was playing the drums for worship. And I really can’t deny that it was all planned neatly by the grace of God because it wasn’t pre-planned that Leb had to play drums that day, and if he didn’t have to play drums that day, he would be the one carrying the flag instead of me. Initially when I held the flag, I wasn’t feeling anything much until PJ came over behind me and said “Tiff, I’m so proud that you are carrying our nation’s flag.” Immediately, tears started to flow from my eyes. I was overwhelmed, man. Images of the critical groups of unsaved people in Singapore – people in gangs, prostitutes, elderly, and many more – flooded my mind. For the first time, I felt God’s heart for my nation. It was a huge and heavy burden. Then PJ released a word to me – “Stay faithful”. I couldn’t stop crying. It felt as though God, for the first time, turned on the tap of the reservoir that belonged to Singapore, and all the water gushed down from above into my mind then to my heart. And now, it’s the hands and feet that need to do the work that the mind and heart have received.

Lord, give me grace and mercy to do what You have called me to do. Take me and lead me wherever and however You will.

 

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My daughter, walk with Me

 

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I am into the third month of my internship with the church. Back to back overnight camps has been crazy stretching physically. I can’t deny anymore that age is catching up on me.

Work has been crazy but I am enjoying every bit of it. Tired, but I haven’t caught myself complaining (sometimes I do but it’s not with a negative connotation in it like I used to do) about it. I like the fast-paced style of work, I like the fact that I get to meet and journey with young people on work days, I like it that every week is not the same. Physically I am tired but I feel that I still have energy to keep going on.

Just when I thought that it’s ok to be physically tired (I just need to be spiritually on fire!), God spoke – “slow down and walk with me”. I think God knows that I am so caught up with working that I wouldn’t be able to hear Him even if He spoke to me, so He spoke to me through someone else. He caught my attention by speaking through a tangible being and reminded me with the six words.

Initially I was not sure whether that was for me because I didn’t feel that I am far from God. But just as I closed my eyes and started speaking in tongues, I saw a vision of God and I walking side by side, having fun and enjoying each other’s company. Then as I got excited by the things I saw in front, I ran forward and left God behind. He didn’t run after me, but called me back to Him. “My daughter, don’t go before Me or behind Me, just walk beside Me.”, I heard Him say.

Lord, thank You for Your undying and unconditional love. Thank You for the grace that You’ve showered upon my life. Thank you for calling me back to You even before I unknowingly run far away from You. Lord, keep me close to You.

I run for God. What about you?

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I finally brought myself out for a run tonight… Running in NTU compound is an experience that I suppose I can get from nowhere else. I used to really hate running (well, I think I still dislike running), but I have a thing for running in NTU. I love the quiet moments, where there are few vehicles around, and not many people watching you. 

As I started to run, in fact every time I run, I am reminded of these verses.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

-Hebrews 12:1-2

Although these two verses are not new to me, because I am reminded EVERY TIME I run, but the Lord showed me things in my life right now and perhaps in the academic year ahead that I will need to deal with. 

The Lord revealed to me the issue of seeking man’s favour, and not God’s. It was then that I realise that I have always been feeling stressed about FYP because I was scared that I might not be able to win the favour of my mentor/profs/any other authority figures, hence not able to do well for my FYP. I was reminded of the importance of seeking God’s favour, and more importantly seeking God HIMSELF, above everything else. 

The Lord also brought to my mind the people in my life – those that will cheer me on and encourage me and support me throughout the race, and those that judge me and jeer while I am running. It’s so important that we have people in our lives that will cheer us on and support us when we are running this race. It’s always easy when we are running the downslopes in the race, but when we run the steepest elevating slopes in the race, it’s definitely tough but it’s always easier to finish that part if there are people to push us and run with us. It is just too scary to be running this race alone because we are most vulnerable when we are by ourselves. We can easily give up and decide to hop on the bus at the nearest bus-stop, or worse still, take a cab. No, we need to finish running this race with no short-cuts. 

God, I pray that You will teach me to run this race with perseverance. Help me to finish running this race and to never give up. Lord, You have marked out a different race route for all of us, so help me not to compare with others so that I may run my race well. Thank You, Lord.