For the past three days, I was suffering from a lack of sleep and my mind was constantly active. I am emceeing for YAYP service this weekend (today) and it’s my first time doing it at yayp, hence I thought I needed more time to prepare. But no, things happen and I wasn’t given the time that I think I would need to do it. I was totally stressed up and I feel overwhlemed everytime I thought about it. Yes stressed up and that is something that I have never felt before.
On Thursday night, ST happened to text me right after I told LC that I needed to talk to ST about it. So as I replied ST, it gave me an opportunity to talk to her about how I was feeling about emceeing this weekend. She affirmed me and shared with me abit of the flow of emceeing in yayp. I felt more relieved after talking to her, but still, I wasn’t feeling perfect about it. I continued to pray and ask God to place His words in my heart that He wants to speak to His people about. I asked God for strength and for sensitivity to hear Him speak.
Friday past, Saturday came and 45 minutes before service started, there wasn’t any word that the Lord has given me. 30 minutes to service, I felt the Lord lead me to Psalm 127:1 for pre-service prayer. I continued to pray in my heart for words to speak to His people.
Service finally started. I went up, shared the verse and prayed… there were moments that I felt there wasn’t words to pray but I was constantly reminded that ministry belongs to the Lord. Prayer isn’t about me, it’s about God. In fact, nothing in this world is about me, it’s all about God.
As soon as worship started, and the next thing on my mind was closing worship. “God, what is it that you want to tell your people? Speak to me Lord. Use me.” Thats all I could tell the Lord because I really didn’t know how I should close worship. Then I felt God saying “dont worry. Just focus on worship” so I did and when I sang the songs, the Lord used them to minister to me. The Lord brought me back to the past three days that I was struggling to prepare for emceeing. He showed me that truly what I needed was just to trust Him and find rest in Him. His grace will always be enough for me (and you).
Then at the fourth song, my attention went back to closing worship again, but this time, Psalm 23 was placed on my heart. I read this Psalm to the congregation and closed in prayer.
Next was welcoming guests, tithes n offerings, and announcements. Honestly, this section is my weakness. I’m not fluent and sometimes even incoherent when doing this section of the service. This time also like that.. sigh.. maybe I need more practice. Haha..
When the time for sermon came, I was all ears. I had to pay special attention to what was preached because I had to close the service. That doesn’t mean that I don’t usually pay attention, it’s just that I had to pay extra attention. Haha.. and as I listened to the sermon, I realise even more how good God is. Truly God brings us through life to learn and to mould us. I start to realise even more that throughout this emceeing journey, from the prep to the end, God was teaching me something new. Well, perhaps not something new but something that I’d never realised.
Although there were parts that I think I didn’t do too well as an emcee, but at the end of the day, when I think back, I can only thank God for the opportunity because He is more concerned about me rather than whether I am a good emcee. He cared more whether I learnt something out of it than simply letting me enjoy the process of emceeing. God loves me (and you) and cares about me (and you too!). 🙂